In February we lost our priest who had always been there as long as I remember. Half alive until the day you won me over, Lost & lonely till the day you won me over, Opening up and sharing, lets God into our life, for the healing to begin. Speaking light on anything we struggle with inside can immediately change our perspective and attitude. I never kept it inside for feelings to fester, but instead let the light of God win me over, time and time again. I spoke to friends and family and together we exchanged struggles and helped each other. I knew He could restore the fire in my heart and the strength in my soul.
I had feelings like “this will last forever” “I’ll never get back to my normal self”. I wasn’t going to let my innermost being be quenched by despair. There were many days I felt like I was going nowhere.īut you know what, I still had the choice placed in front of me daily to hope. On those days of overdoing it, my body temp would drop, my digestive system revolt and my thinking become clouded with a migraine. Too much activity or stress (even good kinds) would set my body backwards. I didn’t get worse either, so the daily rest and recovery was keeping me stable. It would have been nice to have seen a steady increase after the hospital, but that was not the case. I wanted to not only hope with my heart, but see a glimmer of hope with my own eyes. I had been on antibiotics on and off for various infections since September (5 months). I know antibiotics can wreck havoc for weeks and months after treatment and I knew this was partly the case. My laughter started to become quiet and my eyes became weary from pain that would not leave. Frozen because I didn’t know what to do next to recover and rehabilitate. The winter was a symbol of the state of my body. I wanted my heart to truly transform and an space open for what God places next in my life.īut he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. I wanted God to truly direct my will to match His.
I took it as a signal to prepare like the saints did in times of weakness. One day I got a call and I was scheduled to see the top POTS neurologist at Mayo clinic for March! Praise God.īut it was only January and I had to seriously reach down deep inside and find the courage to simply wait. I used to run triathlons but somehow I couldn’t get over almost passing out every time I walked around my neighborhood. It was a waiting game and not much progress in my strength was possible. That answer didn’t set well with me, so I had hope and persevered for more. The POTS symptoms were worse than ever and I would go days with feeling lightheaded.Įventually I got in touch with my Mayo Clinic neurologist and diligently requested a new neurologist who was willing to treat my POTS and help me rehabilitate (instead of the current situation where my neurologist said there is nothing that can be done if my insurance has denied IVIG). I had a feeling my autonomic nervous system had started to flare up after all the stress of infections.
#My heart will go on song in background and someone singing how to#
It was a never ending cycle, and I didn’t know how to get out. There were weeks I had motivation and tried my best to push through, but eventually my adrenals couldn’t take the stress and I ended up flat on my back for days. I waited and waited for my energy to come back, but the sun would come up and the relief never came too. I needed considerable help from family members to drive me to follow up appointments, help me keep up with daily chores, and encourage me that things WILL change. I wondered who helped those people in the bible? How did they go back to living after they received some healing from Jesus’s helping hand?
I wondered this myself as I woke up day after day feeling the bone tired feeling that penetrated my body from the strong antibiotics. What does their life look like between the lines written, as they heal mentally, physically, and emotionally?
What happens in her life after she is healed initially? How do these people recover after their story goes on, past the pages we can read. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Have you ever wondered about the blind man that Jesus heals or the little girl he raises from the dead? What about the woman who reaches out to Jesus seeking healing with faith from the depths of her heart? That was hard, and even with the amount of support I had, the recovery after was unexpected. I have honestly not had much motivation to write, but I think its time I see what I can come up with (because there is always something!) It’s been a few months since my last post.